I forget if I mentioned before that I went to see a homeopathist (I hesitate to say “doctor” because I am certain she’s not an MD) a few months ago.  My mom was telling me about her positive experience with the homeopathic treatment: her argument was, well, nothing else has really worked, so what the hell, why not try it?  So I’m following her example and giving it a try for 1 year.  So far, results are inconclusive.  I am still seeing a therapist weekly and taking my effexor (like a good girl) so it’s hard to attribute any “success” to one thing or another.  I don’t feel substantially better than before, I don’t think, but maybe a little.  That’s still up in the air.

I deleted my Facebook last Sunday during my intense sadness.  I miss it a little, but not lots.  I miss that sharing, that feeling that maybe people are paying attention to me.  Even though they probably aren’t.

Been OK overall this week.  Root canal went smoothly (did I mention the root canal last post?), workweek was fine.  Last night BF went to hang with friends and I reclined on the sofa, examining my abdominal fat.  That I have so much of it really disgusts me.  I can grab it with my fist like it’s a hunk of raw meat, it’s that big and substantial.

I believe that if I dedicate myself to 1) breathing exercises 2) daily exercise and 3) improving my digestive health I will be able to mostly solve my abdominal issues.  I believe strongly that these problems are a symbol of my other emotional issues, that as my emotional situation improves, I will become better able to address the physical problems.  But there has to be a balance, because I don’t think I will really experience a sense of wellbeing unless I can get through a day without “sucking it in” — which means dealing with my breathing and getting my abs in at least slightly better shape.