I have noticed over the last few weeks my breathing has been bothering me again.  The odd thing about it is that I’m noticing it.  I’ll catch myself kind of holding my breath — I think that’s what it is I’m doing, but it’s like a “just out of the corner of my eye” type awareness — and, over the last couple of days, I encourage myself not to gasp for air as was my wont, but to breathe deeply, expand the diaphragm.

My meditation habits have been terrible the last few months, so it’s no wonder I’m having breathing problems again.  I seem to stop breathing even just while I’m typing.  It’s something of an exercise to sit here typing and try to breathe deeply at the same time.  Try to prevent that shallow, upper chest breathing that I do so well.  Try not to tighten up reflexively when I notice I’m doing it — a little mini-panic as my brain thinks “I’m not getting any/enough air!” — but to do the opposite: to Relax, which is really the only way to break from the shallow breathing cycle.

There is a mosquito bite on the top of my left big toe that is driving me crazy.  I have gotten in the habit of spreading an old folded bedsheet out on the bare parts of the landscaping outside the building where I work, spread it out like a picnic blanket and sit on it under the crape myrtles.  I even will usually take off my shoes and socks and make myself as comfortable as possible.  The ants & mosquitoes take note, but it’s worth the irritation.   I love my little picnics.

I signed up for swimming lessons at last.  I didn’t make the session that began this week, but I got the next one, which begins on Monday, August 1.  I’m both excited and scared.  What if I’m bad at it?  What if there’s traffic on the highway so I’m late and miss a class?  But I am looking forward to really learning how to do a few simple strokes.  To actually be able to swim and not just piddle around in the 5′ depths.

I have been thinking again about Roadside Conscience.  Haven’t touched it since winter but I think I need the practice.  No plans tomorrow except taking my car to the shop.  Sounds like a perfect opportunity.

I’m actually quite tired — visited last night with a friend from college I hadn’t seen since about that time, and as a result stayed out much later than was wise.  And I need to get up early if I’m going to get my brakes etc. looked at.

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