I’m 95% sure I’m going to call off the sexual relationship with SMF.  I’ve given myself to/through this weekend to make up my mind.

I asked last night where his smartass-ness comes from and how long he thinks he’s been doing it.  He didn’t really have a good answer.  My whole thing about that is, he’s got this big serious personal thing going on (the divorce/custody mess) and I (and all his other friends I’m sure) try to be sympathetic and kind and comforting about it.  But when talking about anything else all I get is smart-ass responses and joking insults.  It’s strange because I seem to remember when we first hung out, those first couple of nights, he was kind of nice.  And when the big herpes scare happened he came over and gave me a big hug.  So I don’t know what to make of it.  In my experience sarcasm and smartassness spring up as defenses against already existing sarcasm and smartassness.

I don’t know, I’m just really confused right now.  It was a long, tiring night and I’ve been so tired and unmotivated all day.  Things at work are weird and I keep meaning to get my resume back up to date so I can start sending it out.

I really need to just sit with myself for a few moments I think.  Got about 10 minutes ’til I have to clock back in, so that’s what I think I’ll do.

:: Edit ::

After sitting for about 7 minutes I realized I was going about it all wrong.  If I do anything I need to first tell him how his remarks make me feel and ask him to tone it down a little.

So at first I sent him an fb message asking him to set aside some time this evening for us to talk for a bit.  But he texted and asked to know at least the subject that would be discussed (only fair).  I said “being nice.”  He responded “am I mistreating you?” at which point I explained my need for a little more kindness/less meanness.  And he was like, “I can do that.”  That simple.

Honestly I feel much better just having said it.

We may talk a bit this eve so I can maybe explain myself a bit more and hear his perspective.  But it seems like a good start.

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