Seriously.  How do I manage to go on dates without realizing they are dates?!

I feel like I’m missing something, like maybe there’s this secret language people use where it sounds like normal English but the words mean “I’m attracted to you and I would like for us to go out on a date together.”  Heaven forbid anyone actually come out and say that!

This happened to me 3x in college, almost back-to-back: 3 different guys asked me out in such a casual way I didn’t realize that’s what they were saying. So after all that, when SMF invited me out for beers, I thought, aha, I will be smart and find out what this means before I agree to go.  And it turned out we were kind of on the same page, that it was not intended to be a date.  So I thought, “success!”  So then along comes NF, who friends me on fb – we have some mutual friends and are both on the atheist group’s fb page, so I assume some combination thereof is how he found me.  He comes out to one of the atheist social gatherings where I am greeting people at the door and greets me with a hug and proceeds to monopolize me for a while.  I guess I should have realized RIGHT THEN that I was probably the only reason he came out that night and that that most likely meant he’s interested in me.  Hindsight, eh.

I have to acknowledge here that probably a great deal of the problem is that I don’t want to have to deal with situations like that — how do you tell someone you’re not interested? — so I think I just pretend not to notice.  And then I wind up here going “what the faaahhhck, how did I not notice that??”  *sigh*

I like him, but I’m not physically or romantically attracted to him.  I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, but not now.  I tried to articulate that, leaving out the part about not being physically or romantically attracted to him, this evening.  We hung out and watched movies at his place and during a lull he brought it up.  “We’ve gone out a couple times… are we ‘dating’?”  At which point it smacked me in the face.  Ohhhh.  We were “going out?”  I thought we were “hanging out.”  Why didn’t I ask for clarification like I did with SMF???  It worked so nicely that time!!

Lessons for the future. @_@;;;;;

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