I had a kind of revelation (maybe) the other day.  Well, yesterday.  A guy who just went through a very traumatic breakup and is now in the mandatory separation period the state requires before allowing a divorce.  Like many people, he wants to start dating right away.  Or rather, because it’s a rough time emotionally, he goes back and forth about it.  But last Tuesday (a couple hours before my speaking engagement ARRRGH!) he texted me and said basically “I know I’m in kind of a messed up place right now but when I get better I think I want to ask you out.”

I didn’t respond, but then last night he texted me saying “hey, wanna go out for dinner?”  So naturally, I decided to pretend I had left my ringer off after class yesterday and only responded this morning saying, sorry I didn’t get your message but I’ve thought about it and dinner probably wouldn’t be a very good idea.  I think that gets the message across but I guess I can be blunter if needed.  I haven’t looked at his response yet. (don’t wanna!)

So the thing that occurred to me is this.  It seems that, in general, the people who I don’t care what they think about me are the ones who openly express interest in me.  This could be a coincidence and there are surely other factors involved (maybe I’m just not interested in the type of people who would be attracted to me), but when I caught myself saying that, in a victim-y sort of way (“Whyyy is it always the people whose good opinion I don’t care about who are always asking me out??”) I suddenly realized, maybe that has something to do with it.  I dunno, just something to think about.

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