Tag Archive: drugs

The music didn’t go away.  Still had the duet from La Traviata “Dite alla giovine sì bella e pura” in my head most of the weekend.  I found this video of a production at a festival in Aix-en-Provence, France and Can’t. Stop. Listening.

I am also not ready to declare this a successful trial.  It’s only been 3 days, I know.  So far it’s not been quite as drastic as I anticipated.  A lot of it comes from not being in the habit of focusing, I think.  I stumbled upon this interesting entry from a blog called “The Last Psychiatrist.” The entry itself seems to be directed at those who take such prescription stimulants, not for ADHD, but to help with studying, etc.  I almost just said that the entry is “ethically questionable,” but the guy goes to great lengths to say “you should not use these drugs, I do not prescribe these drugs to college kids, this is NOT an appropriate use for the drug,” but acknowledges that it’s just a fact that kids do use these drugs for this purpose, and with that in mind goes on to explain how the drug works and how to make the most of it.  So I really don’t think it’s ethically questionable any more than I think sex ed teachers saying “abstinence is best, but since I know some of you will have sex whether the adults in your life approve or not, PLEASE use condoms/birth control/etc.”

Anyway, he basically says that taking a drug like Ritalin and then studying with the radio, TV, instant messenger etc running is NOT going to be effective.  What Ritalin and other such stimulant medications do is make it easier for the brain to focus on ONE task.  It only makes sense that taking such a drug and then trying to multitask like normal will actually be MORE difficult than multitasking without the drug, because your brain is trying that much harder to find one thing to focus on.

And here I am, a little jetlagged from the Daylight Savings time change, music on in the background, 6 tabs open in Chrome, none of which have anything to do with work.  What I need to do is close Chrome completely, maybe switch the music to something without lyrics if I leave it on at all, and focus on my damn job.  So that is what I will do.

One final note: I joined a meetup group for adults with ADD. I can’t make the meetings because they are on the same night as the CAA planning meetings, but the group leader mentioned CHADD (CHildren & Adults with ADD) meetings, which are on the 2nd Monday of every month.  Normally I wouldn’t be able to do that either, because I have class Monday nights, but this happens to be the week of Spring Break, and it also happens to be the 2nd Monday.  So I’ll be going to that tonight, and hopefully get some insight into how this community operates.


Ritalin, Day One

This is my first day taking Ritalin. 20mg, twice a day, of the generic equivalent of this drug for ADHD.

The question that keeps coming back to me — wondering, I suppose, how far this drug will go — is, will the music go away?

I have had music playing in my head constantly for as long as I can remember.  Sometimes two pieces at once, vying for dominance in my attention.  I like playing with them, seeing how closely I can balance them against each other.

Since the revelation that I am almost certainly ADHD-I (“inattentive” ADHD — the non-hyperactive version), I have begun to assume that this is just another manifestation of the disorder.

If the music goes away, I imagine a cavernous, echoing silence in my brain.  If a thought asserts itself, it will echo like a lonely footstep in an enormous vaulted-arch hall.

I wonder.

It has been 2-1/2 hours since I took the first pill, so it should be kicking in by now.  My head feels strange, there’s some pressure on the sides, a couple inches behind my temples.

To work now.